When I separated from my first husband, that was the worst pain I had ever experienced in my life. I was withdrawn, irritable, and when I wasn’t at work I slept a lot. I’d make a pallet on the floor each Friday because my work week was over, full of snacks in the living room and pile on the sofa. My sons were in reach so if they needed me they’d just poke me in the face. At that time they were four and two years old.
I cried so much during that time and my life, plans, stability was in question. I suffered alone not trusting people around me because everyone was speculating and not understanding. Even my husband at the time took my erratic emotions for a joke and said I only carried on like that while talking to him. But my oldest had a parent/teacher conference and said that he told her that “my mom cries a lot at night.”
That feeling that I had, I never wanted to feel again but it was enough to pull myself together. Verbal abuse…emotional abuse tears you apart like no other and even when you put your life back together, the triggers and scars are there.
It takes time and I’m still healing. I’m recognizable but I put my pieces back together differently. I have my bouts of situational depression. But I also pray my way through it.
If you can’t be kind, be quiet. EVERYBODY is fighting a silent battle, even with smiles on our faces. When bad news hits close to home, it’s impossible to overlook it and not remember your tough times. I’m so glad troubles don’t last always.
PSB2 Publishing and Writing Services is an extension of @drlatilyarashon brand as an author and writer. The name is attributed to owner’s sons (Phillip Steven and Preston Sahir Bird). She desires to leave a legacy for them to hold in high esteem as she works hard to build the company and her authentic brand. . . PSB2 Publishing and Writing Services is the umbrella for
(1) Closer to Purpose Than You Think
(2) 12 Ways To Survive Your First Year Of Teaching
(3) My Fourth Year In Middle School: The Truth About Teaching .
It seems impossible until it’s done. So now I’m expanding my talents and ready help where I’m needed. . .
Work With Me And You’ll Get:
-One on one feedback/advice
-Effective editing and revising
-Polished writing ready for submission.
Email me firstname.lastname@example.org or follow me on IG at @psb2writingservices.
Be stubborn about your goals but be flexible about your methods. It’s not a race and one day you will reach your destination. I have launched and failed but I haven’t been deterred. It’s a process and your time is coming. Keep the faith, it’s going to happen.
Check out my ebook store: latilyarashon.selz.com (1) Closer to Purpose Than You Think (goal setting) (2) 12 Ways To Survive Your First Year Of Teaching (teacher focused) (3) My Fourth Year In Middle School (teacher focused)
You have permission to tell your story and your story only. Your story will inspire people that can relate to your trials and your triumphs.
Moment of transparency: I know that my books are not for everyone one. Everyone does not need what I have to offer nor want to read what I have to say. However, my personal journey into teaching was my opportunity to shed some light on the highs and obstacles of teaching. I talk about my first few years often because whew child, #theghetto.
Seriously though, all jokes aside my first three years in the trenches were difficult but I learned a lot about myself and the population of students I served and I loved my kids.
So I said all of this to say that my experience as a teacher is part of my story. Those lessons, those transitions, and those realizations happened. I learned how to support other teachers due to the support I received.
Mothers, authors, teachers need each other. We can not do our jobs alone because a lot of times, or specifically in my case, these are my three jobs.
I have been asked how to write books, how to start a blog and my simple response is just to start writing. This is not my first time putting my story into the atmosphere, but this the space that puts the pieces of me together. I had a beloved blogspot but when I decided to step things up a notch back in 2016, I was not clear. I was simply stringing thoughts together and calling it a blog.
It was not until I sat down and outlined my first book that I realized I was diving into territory that was uncomfortable but was my wholehearted truth. I was nervous but I shared the tragic dissolution of my marriage in my first book and that was a huge mountain to get over. See, in my second year of teaching, I had only been separated from the Air Force a little over a year, I was still a new teacher, finishes up my alternative preparation program, and sadly my life was in turmoil. I was separated from husband of six years, and I was completely devastated. In the midst of all of those emotions, I still had to be a mother and figure out what I was doing in the classroom. I cried a lot that year, and simply felt like I had no control over anything in my life at the time.
I felt misunderstood by coworkers and even judged at times. I was completely ostracized from spouse’s family, and the only person I relied heavily the most on was my mother. She struggled with watching me deal with pains of my marriage because it was an pain that she had never experienced. She could’t tell how to fix things or how to navigate through the problems because she had never been married.
I was separated for two years before the divorce was final. We tried briefly to try to reconcile, but one day I asked him, “What are going to do?” He looked at me and said, “I don’t even like the word marriage.” That is when I knew I had to let go, as hard as it was. The reality of that pain is that I survived. Dealing with personal problems outside of your profession surely is a test of wills and each time there is a set back and life gets in the way, you learn how to bounce back. Of course at that time I was 30 years old, finding my voice as a woman and refusing to be treated as less than an equal partner. Now my tolerance for things that aren’t conducive to good vibes, I gladly shy away from.
Sharing my story, my ups and downs have become my survival guide because just when I thought I was ready to give up, my strength takes over. I know that I am strong but sometimes when I’m tired, I want to be able to be vulnerable in the arms of someone that will be my strength when I feel weak. We will lose ourselves many times in life but it’s always worth it to see the pieces get put back together as if they were never touched.
My heart as a mother will not let my children down because everything I do is for them. They make me better. My love for writing as an author gives me the ability to share my trials and triumphs. Some days are better than others, so I focus on the good even when I don’t feel like it. When I am in my classroom, teaching continues to add layers to my life and give me experiences that I would not trade for anything in the world.
The parts of me that make me unique, I gladly share and each time I reflect on my trials and my blessings, I am eternally grateful.