Troubles Don’t Last Always

When I separated from my first husband, that was the worst pain I had ever experienced in my life. I was withdrawn, irritable, and when I wasn’t at work I slept a lot. I’d make a pallet on the floor each Friday because my work week was over, full of snacks in the living room and pile on the sofa. My sons were in reach so if they needed me they’d just poke me in the face. At that time they were four and two years old.

I cried so much during that time and my life, plans, stability was in question. I suffered alone not trusting people around me because everyone was speculating and not understanding. Even my husband at the time took my erratic emotions for a joke and said I only carried on like that while talking to him. But my oldest had a parent/teacher conference and said that he told her that “my mom cries a lot at night.”

That feeling that I had, I never wanted to feel again but it was enough to pull myself together. Verbal abuse…emotional abuse tears you apart like no other and even when you put your life back together, the triggers and scars are there.

It takes time and I’m still healing. I’m recognizable but I put my pieces back together differently. I have my bouts of situational depression. But I also pray my way through it.

If you can’t be kind, be quiet. EVERYBODY is fighting a silent battle, even with smiles on our faces. When bad news hits close to home, it’s impossible to overlook it and not remember your tough times. I’m so glad troubles don’t last always.

XOXO

Writing to Heal Parts of Me

I have been asked how to write books, how to start a blog and my simple response is just to start writing. This is not my first time putting my story into the atmosphere, but this the space that puts the pieces of me together. I had a beloved blogspot but when I decided to step things up a notch back in 2016, I was not clear. I was simply stringing thoughts together and calling it a blog.

It was not until I sat down and outlined my first book that I realized I was diving into territory that was uncomfortable but was my wholehearted truth. I was nervous but I shared the tragic dissolution of my marriage in my first book and that was a huge mountain to get over. See, in my second year of teaching, I had only been separated from the Air Force a little over a year, I was still a new teacher, finishes up my alternative preparation program, and sadly my life was in turmoil. I was separated from husband of six years, and I was completely devastated. In the midst of all of those emotions, I still had to be a mother and figure out what I was doing in the classroom. I cried a lot that year, and simply felt like I had no control over anything in my life at the time.

I felt misunderstood by coworkers and even judged at times. I was completely ostracized from spouse’s family, and the only person I relied heavily the most on was my mother. She struggled with watching me deal with pains of my marriage because it was an pain that she had never experienced. She could’t tell how to fix things or how to navigate through the problems because she had never been married.

I was separated for two years before the divorce was final. We tried briefly to try to reconcile, but one day I asked him, “What are going to do?” He looked at me and said, “I don’t even like the word marriage.” That is when I knew I had to let go, as hard as it was. The reality of that pain is that I survived. Dealing with personal problems outside of your profession surely is a test of wills and each time there is a set back and life gets in the way, you learn how to bounce back. Of course at that time I was 30 years old, finding my voice as a woman and refusing to be treated as less than an equal partner. Now my tolerance for things that aren’t conducive to good vibes, I gladly shy away from.

Sharing my story, my ups and downs have become my survival guide because just when I thought I was ready to give up, my strength takes over. I know that I am strong but sometimes when I’m tired, I want to be able to be vulnerable in the arms of someone that will be my strength when I feel weak. We will lose ourselves many times in life but it’s always worth it to see the pieces get put back together as if they were never touched.

My heart as a mother will not let my children down because everything I do is for them. They make me better. My love for writing as an author gives me the ability to share my trials and triumphs. Some days are better than others, so I focus on the good even when I don’t feel like it. When I am in my classroom, teaching continues to add layers to my life and give me experiences that I would not trade for anything in the world.

The parts of me that make me unique, I gladly share and each time I reflect on my trials and my blessings, I am eternally grateful.

~xoxo

LaTilya Rashon

Mother.Teacher.Author

Taking a personal inventory of myself and my skills, I knew that I wanted to do more than ordinary things. Ever since childhood I have had words floating around in my head that I have forced out onto paper over the years. Recently I sat down and faced my business, my approach to book marketing and my journey into entrepreneurship and realized I needed help. Furthermore, I needed to help myself get better positioned and edpreneur.

I base a lot of my writing on education because I began teaching in 2008 when I was over halfway done with my Masters in Public Administration. I had a plan for how my career would go as I completed requirements for my new teacher portfolio for the TAPP program. When MGRESA changed the submission dates for program completion, I was already a month into my Educational Specialist program because I had no traditional training or pedagogy. I set goals early in my teaching career based on where I would be in 3 years, in 5 years, and even 10 years. I met my 5 year goals within 3 so I know the power of manifestation.

https://LaTilyaWilliams.selz.com

By the time I had completed my educational specialist degree in 2010, I was ahead of my 5 year plan. Towards the end of my 4th year of teaching I had the bright idea to pursue my doctorate and from there my idea to write my book was outlined. It was not until 2013 that I put my most memorable experiences onto a word document and I began sifting through the details. I have always been ambitious and in between a divorce in 2011, school transfer in 2013, getting remarried in 2014, and stalling on my dissertation proposal I managed to graduate in 2016 with another degree, Doctor of Education with an emphasis in Higher Education Leadership, while simultaneously self-publishing my book.

Being a mother is my single most important job in my life but offering ebooks online, becoming my own boss, creating helpful content for other moms, teachers and ambitious individuals infusing my passion for writing and helping people together. Through my education, mixed work experiences, skills and training I’m confident that’s reading my books will help with personal development of individuals who struggle with finding balance in their careers and personal lives.

I have journaled and set new goals for myself my whole life and made the necessary adjustments when needed. Being asked was getting my degrees hard, do I like teaching, if I weren’t teaching what would I be doing, and are you going to keep writing is the reason I keep creating.

There’s no one size fit all but I like to think that I have a way of naturally understanding people and not judging their individuality. I have something for everyone!

I Brag Differently, You Should Too!

So you want to start a business?

Write a book?

Host events?

Let’s begin with the end in mind.

Knowing who you want to teach, reach, and speak to is a crucial part to how impactful you will be. So let’s brag together!

Take a sneak peek into how I set my goals, crush them, then clap for myself with this Brag Sheet freebie⤵️

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How To Stop Taking Things Personally

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It has taken me longer to get my blogs up because I have been trying to balance this school term, my business, and my ideas collectively.  That’s part of the reason this blog even came to life because I have victimized myself in creative comparison and been holding myself back instead of taking the bull by the horns and giving my writing everything I got.

Growing up as an only child I spent a lot of time alone and never really truly had to share anything with anyone.  So you can imagine how I easily got picked on for having nice things as a kid, but those nice things were at the expense of my mom’s countless sacrifices.  I now see a lot of my mom in me and I take care of my sons on my single salary and their dad pitches in with them based on their needs.  I never ask him for anything.

Now this is not a blog about all of the nice things.  Instead, I’m sharing with you how I had to develop thick skin and work hard for my successes.  People can be cruel and intentionally set out to hurt your feelings, all the while not knowing that God is increasing your territory.

There are a few words to describe distasteful behaviors of others and that is “hate” and “jealousy”.  See I was the little black girl growing up with good grades, a mother that worked all of the time, but we were living just above the poverty line.  We received food stamps and Lord knows I miss the days of those coupon booklets because now that I have a career, I make too much money to receive any kind of assistance.  That’s that hurt, hurt…LOL!

I never really paid attention to the jobs my mother held other than knowing that I did not want to have to work as hard.  She at some point in her many jobs was a restaurant worker, nursing home kitchen cook and server, custodial services at a trailer plant, plywood maker, law enforcement, until ultimately getting hurt and now receiving disability.  Now in the face of poverty I did not have it all, but I never misrepresented my mom when I left home.  I always made sure to represent her to the fullest.img_7874

I had to have thick skin because there was no way I was going to let anyone around me know that in actuality my mom and I were struggling.  I did a post on my IG (@latilyarashon) the other day reflecting on the homes we have lived in and boy did that bring back so many memories.  I don’t think many of my more affluent friends know what it’s like to light your gas stove using matches and trying to remember if you turned the eyes off so that there would be no gas leaks.  Or perhaps listening to your mom and her boyfriend tell you the story of snatching a wood rat out of one of the kitchen counter draws that was terrorizing the counter tops.  The look on their faces as they told me horrified me.

I didn’t have the best of everything but my mom made the best of what we had.  There was nothing like sleeping on the floor in the dining room in front of the heater.  Those were the days and some of my best memories ever.  Now as an adult not much really gets to me because so many people don’t know my story.  As I was tweeting earlier this morning I said, “So many of us know what it’s like to be broken and hurt but not enough of us are talking about it.”  If we all could take some of our energy and focus on the positive outcomes we would see a lot of healing.

I’ve decided on the eve of my 37th birthday to remove the tape that holds my wounds together and move less fragile.  I will share more of my story because no one can tell me how I should feel about how I live.  When you know who you are there is nothing anyone can say to you about what you do.

I was scared of criticism because I know what it’s like to be told that you are too much or not good enough.  People think it’s mean to not care about the opinions of others, but that’s exactly what you have to do to keep your mental focus.

Walking away from people and things that serve you no purpose you is how you grow into your destiny.  Don’t let the “hates” get to you.  Yes it’s hurtful when your character is attacked and you’re misunderstood.  But I have to love me more than anyone and know that everybody will not encourage my dreams.  If we continuously walk around needing and wanting acceptance from others we will always take things personally.

We all have a race to run in life and how we run that race determines our personal victories.  I’m just the messenger.  So, stop caring what others think of you as you create your vision.  No two people want the identical things.

Don’t take it personal…Take the bitter with the sweet.

Feeling Renewed in Business, Career, and Love

July became my month of yes and I took a huge leap into something that I was not sure I was ready for.  The internet is full of copycat ideas and recycled presentations so I’m sticking with what I know…I’mma just DO ME!

When I log into my social media and I see ads for “FREE” this and “FREE” that I’m slightly intrigued.  I click, I enroll, I listen, then I receive countless emails.  There are a few people that I pay close attention to because they consistently push the message of authenticity.  So I’ll continue to be authentic and transparent in my approach because that’s all that I know how to do.

I had to gather my thoughts for this post because I have taken a lot in over these few weeks for summer break and I just wanted to be clear in what I was saying before I posted my thoughts about anything.

Business|I was obsessing about book ideas and then I was struck with one that I cannot abandon.  I find it ironic that as fictitious characters speak to authors, my real life thought processes urge me to write in that discipline…EXPERIENCES from my classroom mixed with life lessons.  Sure other educational experts focus on the needs of our students but I like the approach I’m taking with my writing.  I’m focusing on ways to help teachers because honestly so many times in my career I felt alone and misunderstood.

img_5542So I’m turning that around to pour into my writing and helping other teachers as well on their academic journeys.  Once I got my services in order I began to see how I help more teachers than others would have probably thought possible when I first began teaching.  I had to BOSS UP just a little bit and be unafraid.  For every one thing about me that was misunderstood, I’ve taken back control of my business and writing and I’m pushing the envelope.

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I’ve stepped into my purpose and I knew that things would take time.  I have even tapped into my entrepreneurial spirit and realized that in order to live the life that I want to live, I must pave my path and create in my own lane.  Books and business are only the beginning and I’m staying the course because I have two precious boys (no matter how badly they drive me crazy) that are paying attention to my every move.

Career|This summer went by in a flash.  It seems like we were just getting out in May, and we return tomorrow.  I had the wonderful experience of attending the Model Schools Conference in June.  I felt inspired to keep writing in my discipline of teacher mentorship and set a personal goal that I will be speaking at the conference in June 2020!  I have to speak things into existence because I feel strongly about these next few years of teaching.  Putting things into perspective, my oldest is going to be a Freshman in high school, and my baby boy is going to 7th grade.  Entering my 11th year in the classroom, my career clock is ticking and I’m feeling like I just might be done anywhere between the next three to six years.

See I’m 3 1/2 years from 40 and with my new business venture (started my own health and wellness business) I’d like to create wealth in that, continue to write, speak~guest speak~facilitate~or host workshops in the future.  I’m not a radical voice, but I’m dedicated to newer teachers because experience has taught me.  Entering the field of education is political, but new teachers and I mean those that have been in the classroom less than three years need SUPPORT.  I know I did which is why I wrote my first book.img_5177

I have been asked about leadership and if I have thought about transitioning into that level and to be honest…NO!  After being passed over to become an academic coach because the other candidate “looked better on paper” I realized that maybe it was not for me.  I was not deterred, but like I told another administrator, “You never know what someone is capable of doing until they are given the opportunity to show their leadership skills.”  My candor is a gift and a curse and I am not compromising that for anyone.  I’ll practice my delivery, but the reality is that people hear what they want to hear.  When you think outside of the box like I do most of the time, you will face rejection and scrutiny from some, but encouragement and support from others.

In teaching I have had to adjust and not let my feelings be stronger than my mind.  I’m not saying that I’m unemotional, I’ve just learned how to manage my feelings better while teaching.  In a roundabout way, I’m desensitized and situations that would get me upset before, really don’t now going into this 11th year.  The only thing I don’t take kindly to is anyone discrediting my teaching and attacking my career.  That’s a big NO-NO in my book.  But I’ve realized people don’t like my style because of how I disturb their approach.  What happens in my classroom is just that!  I’m in control of my content!

LOVE|I have not ventured into this topic in a while and it was with GREAT intention not too.  And it’s not because I’ve been unhappy in love, I was just on hiatus from dating and putting all of my eggs in one basket.  See I dated an older guy for a while.  He was GOOD to me but he had some extra baggage that held him back from dating/getting to know someone/trusting ONE woman exclusively.  He started off saying I’m only interested in getting to know you, then ALL of that changed.  We began to see each other less frequently and it was hard at first because we SPENT a lot of time together initially.  He’s still a decent guy but we are just FRIENDS and we both are okay with that…NO PRESSURE!

When I walked away from that, not exactly a clean walk away, but when I took a step back to focus on BETTERING ME and my VIBRATIONAL PATTERN, I saw the beauty is organic chemistry.  There are familiar strangers all around, and you’d be surprised at who would treat you right if ever given the opportunity.  People make a big deal about commitment and dating to the point of it being exhausting.  I for a fact don’t look at each person I date as marriage material.  I mean after a couple of dates you know if you want to be around someone and enjoy their company without the complications… I NEVER have been nor will I EVER be the, “So what are we doing girl?” LOL…

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Then I met HIM and all of that has changed.  Solidifying the FRIENDSHIP!  I’m renewed in LOVE because I’ve always believed in the possibility of genuine and organic connections.  Hmmm…when BAE said, “I pray for you, and I pray for US.”  That changed the trajectory of EVERYTHING.

I’m fully aware that my business, career, and love won’t look like anyone else’s; I’m okay with that.  I’m staying true to what I know and believe.  So what is for me, is for me!

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LaTilya Rashon🦋

Being self-published and trusting the process takes an extreme amount of clarity, patience, and sacrifice.  I have realized that my “target audience” is not based in my personal relationships but people that actually follow my work in hopes that I inspire them.  If you believe in the LaTilya Rashon brand…purchase your logo series shirt today. Thank you in advance!

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