It has taken me longer to get my blogs up because I have been trying to balance this school term, my business, and my ideas collectively. That’s part of the reason this blog even came to life because I have victimized myself in creative comparison and been holding myself back instead of taking the bull by the horns and giving my writing everything I got.
Growing up as an only child I spent a lot of time alone and never really truly had to share anything with anyone. So you can imagine how I easily got picked on for having nice things as a kid, but those nice things were at the expense of my mom’s countless sacrifices. I now see a lot of my mom in me and I take care of my sons on my single salary and their dad pitches in with them based on their needs. I never ask him for anything.
Now this is not a blog about all of the nice things. Instead, I’m sharing with you how I had to develop thick skin and work hard for my successes. People can be cruel and intentionally set out to hurt your feelings, all the while not knowing that God is increasing your territory.
There are a few words to describe distasteful behaviors of others and that is “hate” and “jealousy”. See I was the little black girl growing up with good grades, a mother that worked all of the time, but we were living just above the poverty line. We received food stamps and Lord knows I miss the days of those coupon booklets because now that I have a career, I make too much money to receive any kind of assistance. That’s that hurt, hurt…LOL!
I never really paid attention to the jobs my mother held other than knowing that I did not want to have to work as hard. She at some point in her many jobs was a restaurant worker, nursing home kitchen cook and server, custodial services at a trailer plant, plywood maker, law enforcement, until ultimately getting hurt and now receiving disability. Now in the face of poverty I did not have it all, but I never misrepresented my mom when I left home. I always made sure to represent her to the fullest.
I had to have thick skin because there was no way I was going to let anyone around me know that in actuality my mom and I were struggling. I did a post on my IG (@latilyarashon) the other day reflecting on the homes we have lived in and boy did that bring back so many memories. I don’t think many of my more affluent friends know what it’s like to light your gas stove using matches and trying to remember if you turned the eyes off so that there would be no gas leaks. Or perhaps listening to your mom and her boyfriend tell you the story of snatching a wood rat out of one of the kitchen counter draws that was terrorizing the counter tops. The look on their faces as they told me horrified me.
I didn’t have the best of everything but my mom made the best of what we had. There was nothing like sleeping on the floor in the dining room in front of the heater. Those were the days and some of my best memories ever. Now as an adult not much really gets to me because so many people don’t know my story. As I was tweeting earlier this morning I said, “So many of us know what it’s like to be broken and hurt but not enough of us are talking about it.” If we all could take some of our energy and focus on the positive outcomes we would see a lot of healing.
I’ve decided on the eve of my 37th birthday to remove the tape that holds my wounds together and move less fragile. I will share more of my story because no one can tell me how I should feel about how I live. When you know who you are there is nothing anyone can say to you about what you do.
I was scared of criticism because I know what it’s like to be told that you are too much or not good enough. People think it’s mean to not care about the opinions of others, but that’s exactly what you have to do to keep your mental focus.
Walking away from people and things that serve you no purpose you is how you grow into your destiny. Don’t let the “hates” get to you. Yes it’s hurtful when your character is attacked and you’re misunderstood. But I have to love me more than anyone and know that everybody will not encourage my dreams. If we continuously walk around needing and wanting acceptance from others we will always take things personally.
We all have a race to run in life and how we run that race determines our personal victories. I’m just the messenger. So, stop caring what others think of you as you create your vision. No two people want the identical things.
Don’t take it personal…Take the bitter with the sweet.