Listen teacher moms… you have a whole life outside of the classroom so some days it’s going to take a little more effort. I mean let’s be honest, good teachers obsess about observations because they want everything to go perfect: students engaged and on task, even transitions from task to task and a positive learning environment.
We spend countless hours planning engaging lessons because we want leave a lasting impression. Then on the day of observation nothing goes as planned. On the flip side of this is that good administrators understand which is why they randomly visit your classroom to catch you on your “good days”.
So here are more tips on surviving:
1️⃣Being observed comes with the profession. At times you will have multilevel leadership in your room, It happens.
2️⃣Show your students that you are human; you don’t have all the answers. Sometimes you’ll learn from them.
3️⃣Some days you just won’t feel like teaching, and that’s okay. Nobody’s perfect‼️
Check out my ebook store latilyarashon.selz.com for my tips on maneuvering the classroom as a newbie teacher or even a veteran teacher.
When I separated from my first husband, that was the worst pain I had ever experienced in my life. I was withdrawn, irritable, and when I wasn’t at work I slept a lot. I’d make a pallet on the floor each Friday because my work week was over, full of snacks in the living room and pile on the sofa. My sons were in reach so if they needed me they’d just poke me in the face. At that time they were four and two years old.
I cried so much during that time and my life, plans, stability was in question. I suffered alone not trusting people around me because everyone was speculating and not understanding. Even my husband at the time took my erratic emotions for a joke and said I only carried on like that while talking to him. But my oldest had a parent/teacher conference and said that he told her that “my mom cries a lot at night.”
That feeling that I had, I never wanted to feel again but it was enough to pull myself together. Verbal abuse…emotional abuse tears you apart like no other and even when you put your life back together, the triggers and scars are there.
It takes time and I’m still healing. I’m recognizable but I put my pieces back together differently. I have my bouts of situational depression. But I also pray my way through it.
If you can’t be kind, be quiet. EVERYBODY is fighting a silent battle, even with smiles on our faces. When bad news hits close to home, it’s impossible to overlook it and not remember your tough times. I’m so glad troubles don’t last always.
You don’t have to do what every other author is doing. But do you?
My dissertation is researched based and however well written it was based on my chairs feedback, my books about teaching are work-place based.
-I love teaching but I’m not sugar coating the glows and woes of the profession.
-I try not to focus on the school calendar, I truly try to focus on the quality of instruction I give my students (the students I’m teaching now are awesome behaviorally but my style of teaching in new to them)!
-I’m a mom first and swear I want to be outside of the classroom soon, now it’s just a matter of getting there.
Entrepreneur—Mompreneur—Bookpreneur—Edupreneur are written all over my face and the things I have in store for myself get me super duper excited.
So email lists, sales funnels, communities aren’t exactly jibberish it’s just that as a single mom and life happening some things are more figure out able (I like how that sounds) than others.
You have permission to tell your story and your story only. Your story will inspire people that can relate to your trials and your triumphs.
Moment of transparency: I know that my books are not for everyone one. Everyone does not need what I have to offer nor want to read what I have to say. However, my personal journey into teaching was my opportunity to shed some light on the highs and obstacles of teaching. I talk about my first few years often because whew child, #theghetto.
Seriously though, all jokes aside my first three years in the trenches were difficult but I learned a lot about myself and the population of students I served and I loved my kids.
So I said all of this to say that my experience as a teacher is part of my story. Those lessons, those transitions, and those realizations happened. I learned how to support other teachers due to the support I received.
Mothers, authors, teachers need each other. We can not do our jobs alone because a lot of times, or specifically in my case, these are my three jobs.
Stay strong. Make them wonder why you are still smiling.I focus a lot of my time and energy on being a mom which author ambition while being in the classroom. That’s already three full time jobs in itself. Now if I make it look easy, trust me it’s not.
Through every transition in my life since separating from active duty Air Force in 2007, the title of being a mom has been staring at me through my rear view. I can’t escape that responsibility. I’m not trying to, I’m just saying.
When I entered the classroom in 2008 my children were toddlers. When I wrote My Fourth Year In Middle School, my sons were a great push for that. When I completed my dissertation, The Impact of Computer Assisted Writing Instruction for Improving Writing Scores for Urban Eighth Grade Students, I said yes mom, I made it, I’m not an expert but that was the turning point. I may have had quality education but very few are checking for the quality of my words so sharing my voice is the only way as I continue to build.
Being a mother with a millionaire mindset is grueling. Someone once said that you very rarely find balance in the things you set out to do, you just have to do it. There’s no wonder people say, I’ll sleep when I’m dead. That’s a dark and twisted thing to say, but I get. We are all grinding for the pending success that’s just on the other side of the roadblock. Delayed is not denied, but sometimes as an entrepreneur you want the gate of opportunity to open up just for you so you can experience the rush of accomplishment beyond the present.
Write the book.
Launch the blog.
Create the online course.
Start the podcast.
Host an event.
Facilitate a workshop.
Have a book signing.
Turn your hobby into a money maker. It’s far more easier to say than to actually do when life happens and your time is limited. We can monetize everything, but when you are a one man team and trying things out, failures knocks twice before success enters. Metaphorically speaking.
I’m the authority of me and my blog and my books are my life. If I managed in between two divorces and two advanced degree programs all while teaching and being a mom to things done. I’m simply saying, you can too!
I have been asked how to write books, how to start a blog and my simple response is just to start writing. This is not my first time putting my story into the atmosphere, but this the space that puts the pieces of me together. I had a beloved blogspot but when I decided to step things up a notch back in 2016, I was not clear. I was simply stringing thoughts together and calling it a blog.
It was not until I sat down and outlined my first book that I realized I was diving into territory that was uncomfortable but was my wholehearted truth. I was nervous but I shared the tragic dissolution of my marriage in my first book and that was a huge mountain to get over. See, in my second year of teaching, I had only been separated from the Air Force a little over a year, I was still a new teacher, finishes up my alternative preparation program, and sadly my life was in turmoil. I was separated from husband of six years, and I was completely devastated. In the midst of all of those emotions, I still had to be a mother and figure out what I was doing in the classroom. I cried a lot that year, and simply felt like I had no control over anything in my life at the time.
I felt misunderstood by coworkers and even judged at times. I was completely ostracized from spouse’s family, and the only person I relied heavily the most on was my mother. She struggled with watching me deal with pains of my marriage because it was an pain that she had never experienced. She could’t tell how to fix things or how to navigate through the problems because she had never been married.
I was separated for two years before the divorce was final. We tried briefly to try to reconcile, but one day I asked him, “What are going to do?” He looked at me and said, “I don’t even like the word marriage.” That is when I knew I had to let go, as hard as it was. The reality of that pain is that I survived. Dealing with personal problems outside of your profession surely is a test of wills and each time there is a set back and life gets in the way, you learn how to bounce back. Of course at that time I was 30 years old, finding my voice as a woman and refusing to be treated as less than an equal partner. Now my tolerance for things that aren’t conducive to good vibes, I gladly shy away from.
Sharing my story, my ups and downs have become my survival guide because just when I thought I was ready to give up, my strength takes over. I know that I am strong but sometimes when I’m tired, I want to be able to be vulnerable in the arms of someone that will be my strength when I feel weak. We will lose ourselves many times in life but it’s always worth it to see the pieces get put back together as if they were never touched.
My heart as a mother will not let my children down because everything I do is for them. They make me better. My love for writing as an author gives me the ability to share my trials and triumphs. Some days are better than others, so I focus on the good even when I don’t feel like it. When I am in my classroom, teaching continues to add layers to my life and give me experiences that I would not trade for anything in the world.
The parts of me that make me unique, I gladly share and each time I reflect on my trials and my blessings, I am eternally grateful.
Okay so I thought that blogging and “vanity” self-publishing would be easy but boy was I wrong. I wrote a blog a long time ago titled “What No One Tells You About Blogging” but I left out an essential part to becoming a brand and standing out in a saturated market. Getting into the business behind books and digital products is possible, especially when you niche down. So I thought my niche was education and personal development. I had the bright idea that I wanted to help new teachers balance work and home life but I find at times that even that niche is too broad. But then I ask myself do I want to concentrated on working moms or just women in general, so it was at that moment I realized I needed to get to the bottom of my business and flush out what I want to do, who I want to reach, and what I want to create.
Creating and selling products online in my opinion is at an all time high and as an educator myself, with a passion for writing and being creative I decided an online business would be beneficial to me for three reasons: (1) I want to supplement my teacher salary because even though I love teaching, getting paid once a month gets tough at times. (2) I want to build a business that will create a legacy for me to leave behind to my sons and (3) Create residual and passive income to obtain financial stability. Reevaluating yourself and identifying your why is important because it helps me establish my vision and put my productivity of lack of productivity into perspective.
My Business, What Will It Be?
I derive to a point often of how can I get more followers on my business/blog/author social media? How can I convert followers into buyers? How do grow to a point of being a full-time entrepreneur and truly live out my dreams. To answer all of that, I realized that I needed a business plan so I revamped and simplified ideas, niched down and uncovered my purpose. Since writing my first book, growth has been a struggle and launching has not been as successful as I hoped, so I admit, I needed some help.
So exactly what do I needhelp with?
As anauthor with plenty of stories to tell about life inside of the classroom, Iknow I take a much lighter approach to teaching than I did in the first coupleof years into the profession.
~On one hand I want to help new or even burnedout educators/teachers who want to revive their passion for teaching.
~On the other hand, since I am asked so manyquestions on a regular basis I want to help people reach success by aligningtheir goals with their passions and create the life they want to live.
Eventually I know that getting started here will lead into other things, but now I just have to promote myself unapologetically.
Studying the Industry
The gurus and the experts have laid the plans and while my content is not to be compared it definitely gives me something to work harder at creating consistently. With the right systems in place I know that I’m tapping into my purpose and dreams. Finding balance for myself is essential to drive that is why when I think of my mission each day in the classroom and personal life I know I have the tools to help other people get through as well. I want to help mothers (working moms, teacher moms) find balance in their work and home life, gain clarity while in the work environment, and discover their self worth through personal development.
The promise and value must sold with any product and while I think I may be sitting on a gold mine, one thing I’ve definitely noticed is that when you identify a solid problem, a promise to deliver clarity and results must follow. Setting true and attainable goals, three to six months out keeps you focused because after all the goal is to grow. I’m sticking to personal development in a sense because let’s get real, everybody wants to improve something in their lives.
I know that I have great ideas and while I study the field, I am not sleeping on the free tips and jewels that are dropped from time to time. I’m pushing out content and feeling good about the “looks” I’m gaining. They say faith without works is dead. I’m just going to continue putting in this work.
Learn: First handadvice on balancing work and home life.
Impact: Gainsolutions for effective management of life and career.
Balance: Setgoals personally to maximize your impact.
“Closer to Purpose Than You Think” (2019) is my 30 day self-paced success guide designed to help you recognize your self-worth, prioritize your goals, and speak life into your dreams. In this book I share ways to create clarity in your daily to day life that leads to productivity and celebration of self. You’ll learn how to command your life with authority and live as the person you were wonderfully made to be.
In 12 Ways to Survive (2019) new teachers can learn how to navigatethrough their experiences to find what works in their instructional setting,read and understand that they are not alone in their journey because evenveteran teachers have periods of adjustments as well, and trust the process andlearn that being a teacher is about the students and once they trust you thereal education begins.
My Fourth Year in Middle School: The Truth About Teaching (2016) is the author’s journey on transitioning careers and becoming an effective teacher to the students she serves. This book provides insight on how to cope as a new teacher adjusting to a new working environment. It richly recalls the obstacles faced teaching at-risk, African-American youth at a southern middle school for eight years. The author centers the book around her experiences and lessons learned as a classroom teacher while balancing life.
My success depends on my consistency. I want to be able to run a business, online and become my own boss. I want to create content that is enjoyed and embraced which will lead to other things in my career. Financial freedom and stability are at the top of the list because balancing my workload and house hold is a battle I’m determined to win. I wrote about what I have experienced and want working mothers and educators to know that it is possible to have a career and family. It’s in the stars from here. It’s above me now.