I faced a lot of fear of failure when I began teaching, when I returned to school, and when I became a divorced mom with two children. I felt like a failure when my students were not achieving success even though they were reading on an elementary level in middle school. I felt like a failure when I had to retake a research class during my doctoral program. I felt like a failure for not being able to keep my family together even though the marriage had broken down well before the divorce happened.
I had to learn how to prioritize my new life and remember why I wanted to teach. I needed better time management to ensure I dedicated enough time to my studies while raising my sons and mapping out my career. I engrossed myself in personal development to help me cope with the loss of a significant other, not once but twice.
Sis, you can start over as many times as needed and still get it right. My journey has not been all sunshine and rainbows. There have been many tears and gloomy days but I persevered. There is no true balance, you learn to adjust.
I got started because I understand the difficulties of being a mom, having a career, and chasing my dreams. I’m using every skill I have in every situation to do my best even when I don’t feel my best. I challenge you to do the same.
Check out my ebook store, latilyarashon.selz.com. My Fourth Year In Middle School: The Truth About Teaching is specifically for you if you are a mom that is thinking about transitioning careers and feel like you don’t have a clue about what to expect. I encountered a lot but I made it through.
Stay strong. Make them wonder why you are still smiling.I focus a lot of my time and energy on being a mom which author ambition while being in the classroom. That’s already three full time jobs in itself. Now if I make it look easy, trust me it’s not.
Through every transition in my life since separating from active duty Air Force in 2007, the title of being a mom has been staring at me through my rear view. I can’t escape that responsibility. I’m not trying to, I’m just saying.
When I entered the classroom in 2008 my children were toddlers. When I wrote My Fourth Year In Middle School, my sons were a great push for that. When I completed my dissertation, The Impact of Computer Assisted Writing Instruction for Improving Writing Scores for Urban Eighth Grade Students, I said yes mom, I made it, I’m not an expert but that was the turning point. I may have had quality education but very few are checking for the quality of my words so sharing my voice is the only way as I continue to build.
Being a mother with a millionaire mindset is grueling. Someone once said that you very rarely find balance in the things you set out to do, you just have to do it. There’s no wonder people say, I’ll sleep when I’m dead. That’s a dark and twisted thing to say, but I get. We are all grinding for the pending success that’s just on the other side of the roadblock. Delayed is not denied, but sometimes as an entrepreneur you want the gate of opportunity to open up just for you so you can experience the rush of accomplishment beyond the present.
Write the book.
Launch the blog.
Create the online course.
Start the podcast.
Host an event.
Facilitate a workshop.
Have a book signing.
Turn your hobby into a money maker. It’s far more easier to say than to actually do when life happens and your time is limited. We can monetize everything, but when you are a one man team and trying things out, failures knocks twice before success enters. Metaphorically speaking.
I’m the authority of me and my blog and my books are my life. If I managed in between two divorces and two advanced degree programs all while teaching and being a mom to things done. I’m simply saying, you can too!
I am in such a different space in my life from the restart of my blog (March 2016) as I pursue my writing and grabbing opportunities to express myself (Pursue Your Dream Career). I love lists….I write everything down and look back at the things I affirm in myself and feel a sense of pride when things come to fruition.
Right now there are so many thoughts in my head about what I’m trying to do and where I’m trying to go and I know that the next few years are going to push me closer to my purpose. In the meantime I’ll just focus right here at Tilyarealeyes.com and put things into the atmosphere and watch them come full circle.
So here’s to the 10 Things I’m Proud Of…
10. I began my college journey at the University of Florida the glorious summer of 2000. My #1 school of choice and I had a blast…my very first Blue & White weekend, being introduced to Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. by way of the fabulous Mu Epsilon Chapter…endless memories…oh what a time I had.
9. Due to the fun I had at UF, I subsequently enlisted into the United States Air Force and spent six wonderful years on active duty. I met some amazing people…but I also walked away with 2 associate degrees and my bachelors when I separated in 2007…Honorable Discharge…Veteran Status
8. I have given birth to the most amazing little boys on the side of heaven. I’m supposed to be proud as their mother…that damn Lil Phil (3.4.04) waited 20 hours to make his appearance into this world…after contracting, I stalled at 5 centimeters so a c-section it became and he’s still stubborn to this day.. #Big Then came the baby, my Preston (2.9.06) my little genius and scheduled c-section. He melts my heart…so innocent…so sweet…so caring… #Little
7. My trials and tribulations in life remind me that everyone struggles at times and it is a part of life but it’s ultimately about how you handle things. I have no choice but to be resilient…I have children to take care of. I am defined by my experiences and that is what completes me.
Taking a deeper look though, my first name has 7 letters in it…L.A.T.I.L.Y.A.
My journey makes me aware of who I am…7…the number of completion!
6. I have been in the traditional classroom for 9 years and I love it! It’s not easy each day or each year. In time middle school will be my foundation as I move up to the next level.
5. Five years ago…April 2012 I closed on my first home…ALL by MYSELF at the age of 30. God is so Good! These past 5 months have shook me up…my marriage ended…a financial setback…but I’m home! The devil got busy, but I’m grounded in what’s mine and I give it all to God.
4. I have survived what might drive others crazy. I am not ashamed of my second divorce, nope not one bit. Marriage 1 changed me, matured me, and birthed me my 2 delicious babies. Marriage 2 taught me what I deserve and I don’t deserve to be cheated on, lied to, disrespected, or unappreciated. It was not all bad but the truth of the matter it was a struggle. I have my dignity and I learned my lesson. I’m not sure if 3 times is the charm… Who Knows…But You Already Knew That…I Want The Magic.
3. Writing my book, My Fourth Year in Middle School will always be a proud moment. Personal, honest and something I always wanted to do. So stay tuned for my next body of work. Because I’m super critical of myself, when The Journey to Here is complete it will be because I’m ready for you to see it. Being a creative is not easy…I’m passionate about MY words and how I intricately weave them together.
2. My education! I’m modest about it, but having someone speak life in me and say, “You should introduce yourself as Dr. Williams”, it is a constant reminder of my accomplishments. Surround yourself with people that SPEAK LIFE into your existence, your being, your soul, your day…those are the kind of people to have on your team. Community College of the Air Force…Thomas Edison State College (now University)…Bellevue University…Nova Southeastern University…Since 2000 I pursued my education and ultimately became Dr. LaTilya Williams. No easy feat…but yes I did it.
1. My spirituality! I luh God! He is the author of my life. Without him I would not be able to stand strong. I am where I am in life because of him and I embrace all of my blessings. My life is changing for the Good…the Great…the Better.
In this New Year things will be different for some people, will remain the same for others, but it will ultimately represent completion for the risk takers, over-achievers, and GOAL DIGGERS! I am a few months shy from the rebirth of my blog and with all of the things I have done with writing, experimenting, and finding my niche, I am moved by LIFE!
So as I was sitting home on New Year’s Day I had a burst of energy and the title, 7 Things You Should Do In 2017 popped in my head. So here goes…
Pursue the Career of Your Dreams
Turning 35 in December put me smack dab in the middle of my 30s and Lord it hit me and I wasn’t READY! But now as I look at my career over the past few years, six years in the military, a near year of working at Child Support Services (Not ideal for the working man), and in the middle of my ninth year in the traditional classroom (middle school teacher)…I am ready for something different.
I have earned multiple degrees (A.A.S., A.A., B.A., MPA, Ed.S., and Ed.D.), so now I want to transition into Higher Education. So on with the pursuit! If there is something that you want to do, the worse that can happen is being told no, but that does not mean give up. That just means pour yourself into your pursuit. It’s time and I feel in my gut that it is going to happen. This is my year! So follow your instincts and take a leap, you just might enjoy the ride. *Refreshing my resume, LinkedIn, Higher Ed. jobs account, and EVERYTHING else.* Wish me luck!
Plan the Vacation You’ve Always Wanted to Take
I found, booked, and fully paid for a cruise to Jamaica in 2014, but due to extenuating circumstances I was unable to go so I loss $1500. Sounds like chump change right? No the hell it don’t. But after sitting at home these past two holidays…Thanksgiving and Christmas… I have decided I bet I won’t be here next year. It is time to plan my trip to Jamaica and anywhere else I want to go. I will escape my home life and you should too. Whether it’s domestic or international, invest in yourself, your peace of mind, and take yourself somewhere that you’ve always wanted to go. Jamaica…Aruba…Virgin Islands…Turks and Caicos… I swear I must have been an islander in my past life and thank goodness I already have a PASSPORT.
Write and Publish Your Own Book Everyone has a story or two to tell. We are all made unique and our life experiences shape us into divine individuals. For some my life as a country girl from a single parent home that has grown up to do the things I have done is inspiring and for some it might be a bore. But what I know is that regardless of your backstory, somebody is interested in reading it. Writing My Fourth Year in Middle School: The Truth About Teaching was extremely personal because it was my journey into teaching. It’s not about the money; it’s about sharing my words, my talent, and my expressions. So I challenge you all to put it on paper and watch it grow. Tell your story…someone needs to hear it.
Kick it With Your Crush
Being recently separated after being married for a couple of years, I am suddenly facing no longer being married (I’m not mad, I’m GOOD and so is LIFE). Oh My Goodness I was blindsided by some things but clearly it was time to let go. But there are some really good looking men in this world so when a man steps correctly-spend time with him, get to know him, Netflix and Chill with himJ Ain’t nothing wrong with kicking it with the opposite sex…respect your space…set your boundaries….but be an adult about all of that. Have a crush, get you a kiss, hold hands, go to movies…throw on some Xscape and Just Kick It! YOLO! LOL!
Save Some Money
I have decided that I will purchase gift cards each month leading into the holiday season, but I need my NEST EGG to be back where it used to be. Don’t get caught up in helping others (the parentals are not included) that you tell yourself NO. I used to be able to have a few thousands in my savings but when you HELP someone too often you end HURTING yourself. I don’t know anything about 501ks, stocks, bonds, cd’s…so that is going to be my next INVESTMENT… I need my duckets lined up in a row. My teacher retirement is one thing but the way my mind set up… Give Me More! I’m trying to save enough for all of those rainy days…besides by the time my rays of sunshine (Lil Phil and Pressy) go on to college, I’ll be paying out of pocket! Jesus Fix It! I need and you need your savings to match your mortgage and car note for at least three months. I’m Just Saying!
Start Your Own Blog
Blogs are the new diary. Everybody can become Bridgette Jones. Yes everyone has one but what is the message in your blog? Crazily everyone is taking this blogging business haphazardly as I look around at people with profitable blogs. You may not be looking today to express your thoughts, share your life, or build your platform but you have something to say and share. I love my journey. I love my blog and the feedback I get from it lets me know that I am reaching further than I imagined. I am not really stuck on lifestyle, spirituality, or beauty…but now people are turning their personal interests into a business, and so should you.
Don’t Dwell on the Past
No one cares about your past unless you make it a reoccurring topic. You have to ask yourself how am I going to build a brighter future. Dwelling in the past does not propel your future. Jobs/careers are not always dreamy, relationships fail, and life is always a battlefield you just have to decide to have faith or stress about what you can’t control. Everyone has a past. Live for today and take nothing for granted because your life has already been designed, outlined, and determined. Because of my faith I am where I am supposed to be and I don’t REGRET a single thing. Let Go and Move On!
In this New Year, I will strike out like never before and accomplish more. I saw a meme that said it nice to see girls names on degrees rather than club flyers…check my resume…check my LinkenIn… these 7 Things You Should Do in 2017 will most definitely help me and YOU #BragDifferent