A Major Shift is Coming

cropped-photo-1430165558479-de3cf8cf14782.jpegIt takes some trial and error to figure out your path and while I might not have it all figured out, my vision is becoming clearer.

Balancing my busy life and my docile moments has been eye-opening for 2017 which is why I have to come stronger, bigger, and better in 2018.  I was ambitious coming into this year and guess what happened… I got divorced and fell in love at the same time.

The divorce fueled a passion inside of me to love in spite of the harsh realities of people not being true to who they say they are.  Falling for someone new ignited my passion to live and just go with the experiences that were presented before me.  But now I must refocus my energy on my purpose and passion for writing and creating the life I want to live.

This is my year in review and as I prepare for 2018 I want all of my wonderful followers and supporters to be prepared for the upcoming changes to http://www.tilyarealeyes.com

Some of your favorite blogs will still be here but I have to tailor my writing to what I aspire to have.  I didn’t name my publishing PSB2 for nothing, so it is time for me to push myself to next level and push out some content that going to make your ears pop.

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My focus going into my next year is simple:

  1. Blogging and Youtube:  The revamp of What No One Tells You About Blogging is about to be epic. I’m still going to tackle the Experts, Services, Social Media, and the fact that it is not easy…as I’m still chugging along on this journey.  I’m turning 36 in a few days and I have a timeline to reach by the age of 40 so boom you have it!  Bigger and Better in 2018!
  2. Books and More: I am proud of my two self-published titles My Fourth Year in Middle School: The Truth About Teaching and Brown Sugar Magic but I now realize that I have to just put myself out there, write the stories, and find my audience.  There is room for everybody and I going for my piece of the pie.  I’m diving into something new and I’m excited.  Exit planning starting now!
  3. Writing Services: Since graduating I have been doing somer freelance academic editing so I’m stepping out on faith to do more of this in the months and years to come.  This is all trial an error and I feel that since my Chair and Committee member have minimal feedback for me, let me help others reach their academic writing goals.  PSB2 Document Processing services to be provided include:
    • Formatting thesis/dissertation/paper/manuscript to University requirements
    • Typing thesis/dissertation/paper/manuscript (including format and edit);
    • Editing thesis/dissertation/paper/manuscript for grammar, punctuation, and spelling as requested;
    • Corrections to thesis/dissertation/paper/manuscript as needed
    • ALL SERVICES RENDERED ARE CLIENT CENTERED

I’m spreading my wings and hoping to build a stronger network.  That is probably one of my weakest areas and while I have joined many boards and follow other #blkcreatives, I’ll continue to research until it all comes together.  My niche is embedded in education and writing and while I have tried to run from that, I know that my service is to help others in that area.

I’ve set some goals for 2018 and dammit I am going to smash them out.  Thank you for coming along for the ride and being patient with me as I work on the back end.  Greater is coming for LaTilya Rashon and be on the look out for Live, Reflect, Write, Learn: The Journey to Here.

 

xoxo

LaTilya Rashon

 

Sometimes in September

 

nineThe month of September symbolizes so many different things for me that it is hard to put it all to rest in my heart because for years there has always been a battle that I had to face either with someone or alone.

September is the fall back month when I sit back and reflect about some of the shit I’ve been through then have to remind myself to push forward.  This will be an emotional read because Sometimes in September I am reminded of being choked and told “Bitch I’ll kill you…” at the same time.  That’s just something you never quite get over.  You try to block it out but the very thought of a man revving his hand back at you like he’s about to hit sends your blood boiling.

Even as the years pass on, by this particular time of year I’m so busy that I don’t have time to wallow in self pity.  I have to push forward and try to forget all of the things that have happened over the years of Septembers tried to wreck my inner peace.

So sometimes leading into fall the internal conflict I feel rears its ugly head and I have to find the strength to press forward even when I don’t want to.  I have to remember that my sons depend on me, and they have often said “Mommy you are strong you can handle anything.”

If these walls could talk, all of the Septembers throughout the years would tell you my secrets, my trials but more importantly tell you my triumphs.  My journey to here… being the woman I am is no easy feat.

Rightfully themed, Sometimes in September, a relatively short month, tests my character year after year as I enter a rebirth and rejuvenation of self deciding some shit just ain’t worth putting up with.

I’ve gone to court in September. I’ve had a divorce decreed in September.  I’ve found out I’ve been cheated on in the past, in the month of September. I have been lied to and told that you’re my soulmate in September and we can married tomorrow.  I’ve been left hanging in the balance in September.  And in all of my Septembers I’ve been reminded of my discipline, authenticity, and perseverance.  Because I simply cannot show my weakness.

I’ve been chastised for being an open book.  Told that I reveal too much.  I’ve been reminded of my truths in September and I remember every single person who said, “I’ll always be there.”

This ninth month of the year represents change.  A change in season.  A change attitude. In some cultures it the number representing “long-lasting”.  One of my close girlfriends said to me, “Look at how many Septembers you have survived.”

The number nine and September is my number of patience.  There is a reason for everything.  It has all been a test.  Divine completeness.  The fruits of the spirit. The number nine is powerful to me because I am always tested at this time.

I said it a few months ago and I’ll say again it, “Being a diamond in the rough, perfectly imperfect, and vulnerable is the true essence of your beauty.”  Just today as I felt things fall off of my internal shelf, I recognized that I’m not shattered but beautifully blemished and genuinely unique.

I find my truth in every situation I experience and overcome.  I am a bit of an enigma.  I face the realities of life and accept that my path was predetermined a long time ago.

Live, write, reflect, and learn.  I practice what I preach, too bad not enough people do the same.

Short and sweet… just like the month of September…

 

 

 

 

My Love-Hate Relationship with Fitness

imageAt my heaviest I weighed in at 190 pounds at five feet one inch.  I said to myself HELL NO this is not my life.  When I saw my clothes size balloon for me up to a size 12 and 14 I was secretly devastated but I was also upset about the things that had happened in my life.

Being a size six all throughout high school and even in my early 20’s was the best feeling ever so I knew something was up when after working out my size 6’s didn’t fit anymore. Surprise…You’re Pregnant!  I was elated about my first little bundle of joy.  I had a c-section so working out was not an option for at least eight weeks because for one I had sutures and had at least six weeks to wait for clearance from my doctor to do anything. Needless to say my mother-in-law at the time was extremely rude and insensitive about my weight gain and said to me when my baby—Lil Phil—was two months old, “You know what you can do to lose weight don’t you?”  I was emotionally unprepared for such a statement to come out of her mouth.  I immediately called my husband in tears while guzzling some Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream.  Postpartum hormones on 10!

I lost my weight by running four times a week at the time while in the Air Force.  Of course my second blessing was born while I was on active duty so the pressure to get back right was important to me.  Then next thing I knew in 2007 I was moving to my home state, in a new house, and relearning a familiar town but now as an adult.  I joined the gym but then that eventually got boring.

I fought with my then husband, we separated, I changed careers, I gained weight from lack of exercise, I lost weight due to overwhelming stress, I drank some, I slept a lot…I was unhappy and scared to start over.  Then one day I looked at my stomach full of stretch marks, my thick ass thighs, size 14 pants and decided that this was not healthy.  I hated feeling like I couldn’t cross my legs or feel completely comfortable in my clothes.  I was self-conscious but hid it with a smile.

Stress caused me to gain at one point because I was not active at all.  All I did was take care of my sons, go to work, and sleep.  I was trying to figure out my life and starting over.  I was 30 years old and my life was in an uproar.  I took charge!

So post divorce in 2011 I picked up a tennis racket and went to a private lesson with a group of friends.  It was fun and the tennis pro was fun.  I didn’t put the racket down and my true weight loss journey began.  I was determined to lose about 40 pounds because I felt entirely too heavy to be so short.  I have been playing tennis since the top of 2012 and I love it.  It keeps me active.  I was not good when I started and the way I play now is a major improvement.  So here I am five years later still playing, I have been on different teams under different captains, I have even been the captain…  My love affair with staying fit is a struggle especially when life gets in the way.

On top of playing tennis I was at the gym and at times spending up to three hours on some days working out.  Not the plan, but after leaving the gym I would get a text asking who could play tennis so I would jump at the opportunity especially in the summer time. I even jumped on the P90X extreme workouts and would tap out at about day 60.

I had a time or two that I took to the pavement again, playing around with the C25K running app.  I’d make it to week five and then get totally thrown off.  Life would interrupt my workout schedule and next thing I knew I was slowly gaining weight.

I saw my dress size begin to shift.  Those 14’s dropped to an eight and suddenly I felt too small.  Right now I am at a steady weight, some days I’m okay at 165, then it’ll drop to 160 and I’m okay with that.  I have a love-hate relationship with fitness.  I work out to relieve stress, take my mind off of things, and weight maintenance.  I still have a belly full of stretch marks and some days my stomach appears flat; other days I look at it and I’m reminded that life was carried there.

I am an active person.  I’m always going to show you something real.  This body takes work…cardio…elliptical…tennis…ministepper…running.  I don’t want to be pushing 200 pounds ever again.  I took control.  Besides I have to be around for Lil Phil and Pressy. They keep me young!

My journey to staying fit is ever evolving.  I’m not going to pay for a body.  I’ll just work on the body God gave me.

~LaTilya Rashon

3 Steps to Living a Better Life

They say that you should smile at the people around you because you never know what somebody is going through.  But when you can’t smile at people I say you should be a beacon of light that shines so bright that your positivity and inspiration speaks before you say a word.

I have been asked how I keep a smile on my face while dealing with the struggle, and I say it is because I know my worth.  I was specifically asked how I am so happy while my life is in transition.  My answer in short has been that I have to remember who I am, remember that my sons need a WHOLE mother, and I must place value in myself.

People that walk around “Happy” all of the time are living in a false reality, because hardships are a part of living and we all go through the struggle from time to time.  However, we have to not remain stagnant in that struggle.  We must deal with REAL life and move forward, but most importantly LEARN.

Taken from my post on Facebook a short list was born…in order to live my life more abundantly and Not Dwell in the Past…Sometimes you just have to speak things into the atmosphere, enjoy life to the fullest, and create the life I want to life.

new life loading conceptStep one of my process is gaining a new lease on life.  I had to realize that losing people in my life was not always a bad thing.  Some losses are out of my individual control.  Death is inevitable…but a breakup be it a long term relationship or marriage is NOT the end of the world.  It may feel like the end of the world when you lose someone you love, but there is a blessing in losing someone that didn’t value your presence in the first place.  Eventually you get tired of feeling unappreciated and realize that you deserve better.  You will cry, flip out, reflect, question, scream, not understand, and then realize that it is time to LET IT GO!  You can try to hold on, but if the relationship was meant to last it would.  Sometimes letting go is hard to do but in order to have peace of mind it is necessary.  No one person is perfect in a relationship, but when you know that YOU have done all that you can, make peace with your circumstances and know that YOU DESERVE BETTER.

goldfish-bowlStep two is to challenge myself and step out of my comfort zone.  I am VERY black and white when it comes to rules because I have too much to lose.  That does not mean I am perfect, don’t get upset and am not confrontational.  It just means it takes a lot to get me to that point.  Everything does not need a reaction, but when I do REACT be ready because it’s not going to be how you would expect.  I’m very comfortable in my skin, so now that I am deciding to sit in front of the camera I am setting myself up for criticism from others.  I am already hard on myself when it comes to my writing, so in order to grow I have to throw myself out there even more.  Whether it’s writing academic content, working on my upcoming projects, or making VLOGS in order to get better I must first not rely on being comfortable.  So PUSH yourself to do things differently and enjoy learning more about who you are and what makes you tick.

6e5988ba841544b4118bb3a88019ea9eStep three is having fun while I fumble through my new experiences.  Whether it’s a dinner date, movies, throwing back a few cocktails, or getting some new ink (I LOVE TATTOOS), there is NOTHING to STOP me from having fun.  After being thrown completely for a loop, and having my world shaken up I have rebounded and know that I will LIVE my LIFE ABUNDANTLY WELL.  My sons are growing and maturing into awesome little men.  They are well taken care of and are happy to see their mom living a little rather being bogged down by sleepless nights and endless tears.  I am deserving of a stress free life… I am not afraid to give love another shot.  I removed toxic people from my life and while others want to assume, they have no idea just how GOOD my life really truly is.  I have spent so much time taking caring of others, it feels good to have a friend in my life that makes things a little easier for me.  I am able to relax.  So I say to my followers and encouragers, OPEN UP an LIVE A LITTLE! Try NEW things…Don’t be so Quick to say NO!

Make a list, check it twice. Life is better with lists! Come back for more in the list series.

~LaTilya Rashon

10 Things I’m Proud Of

When you are grateful.  Fear disappears and abundance appears. ~Anthony Robbins

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I have been inspired by list posts and recently took a second look at my 35 Randoms Thoughts on the eve of my 35th birthday and the 7 Things You Should Do in 2017 and my oh my have I enlightened my own self.

I am in such a different space in my life from the restart of my blog (March 2016) as I pursue my writing and grabbing opportunities to express myself (Pursue Your Dream Career).  I love lists….I write everything down and look back at the things I affirm in myself and feel a sense of pride when things come to fruition.

Right now there are so many thoughts in my head about what I’m trying to do and where I’m trying to go and I know that the next few years are going to push me closer to my purpose.  In the meantime I’ll just focus right here at Tilyarealeyes.com and put things into the atmosphere and watch them come full circle.  

So here’s to the 10 Things I’m Proud Of

10.  I began my college journey at the University of Florida the glorious summer of 2000.  My #1 school of choice and I had a blast…my very first Blue & White weekend, being introduced to Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. by way of the fabulous Mu Epsilon Chapter…endless memories…oh what a time I had.

9.  Due to the fun I had at UF, I subsequently enlisted into the United States Air Force and spent six wonderful years on active duty.  I met some amazing people…but I also walked away with 2 associate degrees and my bachelors when I separated in 2007…Honorable Discharge…Veteran Status

8.  I have given birth to the most amazing little boys on the side of heaven.  I’m supposed to be proud as their mother…that damn Lil Phil (3.4.04) waited 20 hours to make his appearance into this world…after contracting, I stalled at 5 centimeters so a c-section it became and he’s still stubborn to this day.. #Big   Then came the baby, my Preston (2.9.06) my little genius and scheduled c-section.  He melts my heart…so innocent…so sweet…so caring… #Little

7. My trials and tribulations in life remind me that everyone struggles at times and it is a part of life but it’s ultimately about how you handle things.  I have no choice but to be resilient…I have children to take care of.  I am defined by my experiences and that is what completes me.  db42f1c66ab6b254f78baae55b330a64

Taking a deeper look though, my first name has 7 letters in it…L.A.T.I.L.Y.A.

Loyal…Ambitious…Talented…Intelligent…Loveable…Yummy…Amazing

My journey makes me aware of who I am…7…the number of completion!

6.  I have been in the traditional classroom for 9 years and I love it!  It’s not easy each day or each year.  In time middle school will be my foundation as I move up to the next level.

5.  Five years ago…April 2012 I closed on my first home…ALL by MYSELF at the age of 30. God is so Good!  These past 5 months have shook me up…my marriage ended…a financial setback…but I’m home!  The devil got busy, but I’m grounded in what’s mine and I give it all to God.

4. I have survived what might drive others crazy.  I am not ashamed of my second divorce, nope not one bit.  Marriage 1 changed me, matured me, and birthed me my 2 delicious babies.  Marriage 2 taught me what I deserve and I don’t deserve to be cheated on, lied to, disrespected, or unappreciated.  It was not all bad but the truth of the matter it was a struggle.  I have my dignity and I learned my lesson. I’m not sure if 3 times is the charm… Who Knows…But You Already Knew That…I Want The Magic.

3.  Writing my book, My Fourth Year in Middle School will always be a proud moment.  Personal, honest and something I always wanted to do.  So stay tuned for my next body of work.  Because I’m super critical of myself, when The Journey to Here is complete it will be because I’m ready for you to see it.  Being a creative is not easy…I’m passionate about MY words and how I intricately weave them together.

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2.  My education!  I’m modest about it, but having someone speak life in me and say, “You should introduce yourself as Dr. Williams”, it is a constant reminder of my accomplishments.  Surround yourself with people that SPEAK LIFE into your existence, your being, your soul, your day…those are the kind of people to have on your team. Community College of the Air Force…Thomas Edison State College (now University)…Bellevue University…Nova Southeastern University…Since 2000 I pursued my education and ultimately became Dr. LaTilya Williams.  No easy feat…but yes I did it.

1. My spirituality!  I luh God!  He is the author of my life.  Without him I would not be able to stand strong.  I am where I am in life because of him and I embrace all of my blessings.  My life is changing for the Good…the Great…the Better.

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