I took a chance at something that is changing my life and it has nothing to do with money. Well it indirectly has something to do with money but here goes.
So here’s the back story. Back in 2012 I signed on with this lady to become a distributor with a company called It Works! I was gong ho and I just knew that I was going to make a lot of money with this company at 30 years old because in my mind, “Who doesn’t want to lose weight and get fit?” I was in for a a rude awakening and with little to no training or mentorship, I was lost, so not even three months after I begin I quit.
I’m generally not a quitter, but I had no idea what I was doing and my “upline” was not helpful. By this time I focused more on finishing school, I had just moved into my house and I was adjusting to my life as single mom. Divorce had been finalized in September of 2011, so I was a free woman, but I was scared as hell.
Fast forwarding six years, here I am now, 36 and I’m an It Works! Distributor again but with a FAR BETTER team and support system. The things that my leaders poor into us to keep us motivated is what I needed in 2012. All I can think about is how might my life been a little different had I stuck with the company? But I don’t have time to be concerned about that now, I can only make the best of everything I’m currently doing?
But to keep myself organized and not overworked I have implemented a “Pearl List”. The FIVE things I must do daily in order to reach my goals.
Self-Development: It is so important to have my time alone with God and communicate with him the desires of my heart. Reading devotionals and praying keeps me grounded because I know that everything happens is his timing and not mine. I cannot be selfish in my efforts. Through praying and affirmations I know that there is a time and place for everything, so I’m running my own race, keeping God first and being realistic about my success.
Messaging: In network marketing I contact anywhere from 30-50 people daily or I at least try to. I follow up with potential customers that have interacted with me on social media to gauge their interest and open up the lines of communication. I will be met with some no’s and disinterest, and I understand that I may even be blocked or ignored. But that does not deter me because failure is a display that I am trying. People are paying attention and pretty soon that NO will turn into a YES. I’m very OPTIMISTIC.
Intentional Posting: I try to start my day off with inspiration and affirmation. I know that no one is going to believe in me more that me and even though I have support from others, I have to be PUMPED every single day to handle ALL of my tasks at hand—school, business, and personal. I share opportunities to try any of my 40+ plant-based products and even showcase the blessing of being able to work from home when I feel like it. I grasp the concept that what ever I put into my business, with God’s blessings it will be returned to me. I intend to reap what I sow. And lastly, my children are my why and my push. So I always talk about the highlights of my life and my children because they keep me grounded. I’m a business woman, but I VERY grounded.
Networks: I try to keep my content reel in my Facebook (@LaTilyaWilliams and @tilyarealeyes) updated because sometimes people just like simple pictures, quick stories, questions, and polls. I can’t lie…my stories be LIT!!!! I do the same for my IG (@docwilliams81 and @tilyarealeyes). I know, I know 4 accounts…absolutely and once you visit them all you’ll understand why. I’m also trying to figure out Captivate…so pray for me saints…LOL!
Expand: I will send a friend request with the quickness. I can’t lie though I was apprehensive at first but with the guidance of my business mentor, she said, “Add them, expand your network because that give you more exposure”. She was right and as my numbers continue to grow I am excited about the things that are to come.
I have labeled this time in my life as my season of yes because I feel really good about what’s going with my blogs, book projects, and business. I am relying on…
my experiences because I’m willing to share my missteps and what works for me
my patience because I’ve learned that hastened moves and immediacy can ruin me when not well thought out
my ability to model and be an example so that people see that I am reliable and can be trusted.
I leaped back into the business and the good in my life is being returned to me. I have heard and will continue to say since I heard this… Your season has nothing to do with a set day, time, or age. When it is your time the opportunity will knock. Ready or not you have to decide to trust his will or your own.
In a world of cliches’ it is very easy to get caught up in what’s trending? Conversations about loyalty. Ideas about authenticity. And the thought that everyone around you is fighting a battle so practice being kind. However being kind and turning a blind eye often gets you looked over, underappreciated, and becomes overwhelming to a fault.
Even when you practice the pause, you still have to show up for yourself and let others know just who the hell you really truly are. I wrote this quick note to all of the strong people I know. I’m checking for you!
A lot of the STRONG PEOPLE are:
Dealing with life one day at a time because they have finally realized that trying to do too much at once is tiresome.
Thinking of ways to better themselves so that they can continue to bless others even when their effort goes unnoticed.
Face each day with greater expectations of being blessed by the small things because the little details are what matter the most.
Suffer in silence because they would rather mask their disappointments than share with other people that really are glad to see them in turmoil.
Deeply bothered by the lack of compassion and instead of lashing out; they cry tears that are washed away then face the world without a trace of sadness.
Really just want to be asked if they are okay and if they say “No”; have someone who will listen to them without judging and say, “Good, I’m glad you got that off of your chest.”
In the second quarter of 2018, I find that I am more centered and focused on my holistic existence. In a round about conversation with my mom this morning on my way to work I laid these words upon her ears, “If it does not feed my soul, I’m not interested.”
My mom is more than just the person I lean on most of the time, but she is truly my closest and most relied upon friend in my life. Every time I talk to her I get life just by her listening to me and pouring her love and encouragement into me. And after last week I am completely obsessed with a couple of things in my life as I work towards accomplishing these new goals and tasks.
So here’s a little of the back story before I focus on those three things. A teacher friend of mine down in Coastal Georgia purchased both of my books last week and left me with glowing reviews on her social media. I am forever grateful because it’s not that I didn’t think that I had the power to be influential, I just had to let my presence be felt through my blog. Being told, “Baby you gave me my fire and spark back!”, was right on time.
I was totally surprised when I checked my instagram (@tilyarealeyes) and realized that I had been tagged in a couple of post. My work being acknowledged by one of my peers and someone I’ve know for a long time has me pumped about other things that I want to venture out and do. So with that being said, now that it’s May here are the 3 things that I’m completely obsessing over in no particular order…
Thing 1: I have been toying with the idea of a fictional book and while the story line is clear in my head, I don’t want to rush it. I hear the characters speaking to me all of the time and I know that they cannot wait to continue telling their story. Just understand that Lauren, Black, Kira, and Zamir are a trip! However, the only reason this is a pressing matter for me is because I overthink every single thing I plan out for myself and really truly just want every thing to be perfect. Then I have to remind myself that the first draft does not have to be perfect, it just has to get done. There are some other pieces I’m working on simultaneously, but getting this fictional story out first is my priority. I’m sure that through discipline and time management I can get this story out mid summer… WOOSAH! No pressure, but I will get it done.
Thing 2: I have been pinning my life away on pinterest as I sort through my feelings about life, love, friendship, and business. It’s no secret that I like to have a cocktail or two and the liquor, beer, and partying industry is only flourishing. I want to learn how to be a bartender. For one, I think that it would be fun to learn how to do and secondly, I want to make extra cash on the side just to be honest. I have a vision about bar-tending in my mind, that just like with anything else I set out to do… I WANT TO BE GOOD AT IT! I’m also learning to that a lot of people are doing the same thing I’m doing— 1)perusing pinterest for ideas then 2) adding their own little twist to concoctions that basically have the same ingredients. What can I say—bar-tending, story telling, and then blogging about would add the spice I want to add to my blog.
Thing 3: I am completely obsessed with maintaining balance in my life. Ever since I decided to block out the noise and take inventory of myself, I’m much more at peace. Placing my energy and focus into self-caring my way through this year has me centered and not focusing on the many things that can occur in a day that are out of my control. I have taken charge of my life and plan to be my own hero when need be. I have to pour into myself more, encourage myself more, because as the strong person I am—I have neglected my peace of mind at times. If I want consistency in all areas of my life, then I have to be consistent with myself. Having balance in my life protects me from situations that are detrimental to my growth…I have to safeguard my heart, my intentions, and my conversations because my path in life thus far has been very enlightening and I just want to restore my well-being and be the best me that I know how to be. I’m learning to dig deeper, listen to my intuition and trust my process. I have never had an issue with self-love, but right now due to what I need in my life, what I’m allowing around me looks different.
As I continue to listen to my intuition more, I recognize what is real in my life. I ran from one of my strongest attributes for a while. I’m taking back my power each and every day and choosing me. I’m glad that the lessons in my life have helped me to arrive here at a place of gratefulness. I may be obsessing about things, but I’m focused and driven towards my personal victories and success.
When I entered the field of education I had a five year plan which was quickly exceeded due to my determination and commitment to teaching. I entered into the classroom not having the slightest clue about what to expect from my students but I learned very quickly.
I was certified through the Georgia Teacher Alterative Preparation Program (GATAPP) and I was taken aback by the amount of work that I had to do in order to gain my certification. Let’s just be clear, there is a major difference in being traditionally trained through brick and mortar colleges of education and alternative programs.
I want to help new teachers acclimate to teaching and not be overwhelmed by the daily tasks and responsibilities and it is my hope that the lessons I’ve learned along the way will be helpful.
Today I am going to share my experience as I transitioned into teaching and how I found my calling in the classroom. Come along for the journey!
Lesson 1: Transitioning Careers
In the back of my mind even in high school there was a thought that I would become a teacher. I thought that I would major in English when I first went off to college and minor in Spanish because I had big dreams of completing a semester abroad in a Spanish country and broaden my horizons. My educational journey didn’t quite happen that way. I graduated high school in May of 2000, attended the University of Florida for a glorious year (July 2000-April 2001) then took a six year detour in the United States Air Force from August 2001 to August 2007 before ultimately landing in a middle school classroom.
I had big ideas when I first got out of the Air Force but much to my dismay those plans went to the left and I found myself unfulfilled in the civilian sector.
I’m a people person and while at times I can be off by myself rarely interacting with others and enjoying my life when I first got out of the military working for the Georgia Department of Human Services, that career path was not the choice for me. So it made sense to plan an exit while still performing my duties as a Child Support Enforcement Agent. I will be the first to say that the system is not fair and I saw a lot of struggling fathers do the best they could while some fathers simply dropped off the face of the earth.
Some of the noncustodial parents I encountered were decent in their efforts, but the office politics was enough to deter me from this career field and really put my education to work. I knew that in the classroom I must showcase myself as a lifelong learner, and acquiring my master’s degree was a necessity.
I knew that my willingness to continue to learn was heavily influenced by my past teachers, and in transitioning careers, I wanted to give back to students what had been given to me in a positive way.
In my book, My Fourth Year in Middle School: The Truth About Teaching I share an experience I had with a middle school teacher and a high school teacher that fed the fuel inside of me to let education be my escape. I learned that education was my stepping stone to a better future and I wanted children to believe in themselves the way I had while matriculating through school.
When I found my way pursuing a teaching career the natural leader in me accepted my calling. Read an excerpt of my journey hear:
Lesson 2: Maintaining Balance When My Life Was Falling Apart
My first three months into teaching looked vastly different from my third year of teaching. And even now here in my 10th year of teaching I’m still learning things but coping with the copious changes and trends in education by the day.
As a new teacher is very easy to become overwhelmed with lesson plans, professional development, additional duties such as being a club sponsor or coaching, but I had to take care of my mental stability at the same time. No one told me that in the beginning there are long hours and none of those hours are paid overtime. No one told me that I would be in a meeting almost daily. And lastly no one told me that I had to learn how to separate my home life from my work life and focus on them one at a time.
Needless to say in my second year of teaching I grappled with separation and divorce and my two young sons were on an insane schedule that shifted them to daycare by 6:30 a.m. while I had to be to school by 7:15 a.m. daily. I cried so much this particular year of teaching but I had to find balance.
I had a school me and I had an at home me. At school I didn’t talk about my personal life with anyone really other than my gracious mentor because I didn’t want pity or for anyone to feel sorry for me. But my face was telling of my troubles at home. At home my sons watched me cry often then wipe the tears away and carry on with my day even though I was screaming on the inside.
I had a job to do and I had to do my job despite my emotions being all over the place. My family was a priority and so was my career. I found my balance in letting go of the things out of my control and let all of the work I was doing speak for itself. My school obstacles became the backdrop to my career which led me to want to help new teachers.
People think teaching is about holidays and summers off. But a lot of times we become second parents to the children we teach and have to fight off jealousy from other teachers in order to be effective. My students always showed up for me because I never not showed up for them.
Lesson 3: I Found My Purpose and Niche
Over the course of the years of teaching, I have acquired multiple degrees. As mentioned I exceeded my five year plan which was to obtain an educational specialist degree. I completed that degree program entering my third year of teaching. I had no educational pedagogy so I wanted to learn more about curriculum, instruction, and assessments. Being a lifelong learner propels my energy to help, teach, speak, and write.
As a blogger and teacher, my journey inside and outside of the classroom has been impactful to those that have sought my help. Writing is my purpose and education/teaching is my niche. My platform is my classroom. And my audience is those that want to hear my stories and follow my career and I surge into a bigger light.
My book, my journey, my transitions in life give me a story to tell and I want to share my story and experiences as often as possible. I am my brand. My career and writings are my baby. New teachers, old teachers, brick and mortar schools and alternative preparation programs need a voice that speaks from experience. I have not degreed myself out of positions. Being a lifelong learned has positioned me to take the stage.
I love teaching and it is in my DNA. Go read a free sample of my journey and share my experiences. My Fourth Year in Middle School: The Truth About Teaching is a worthwhile investment found on Amazon ($4.99 Ebook or $7.99 paperback).
They say that you should smile at the people around you because you never know what somebody is going through. But when you can’t smile at people I say you should be a beacon of light that shines so bright that your positivity and inspiration speaks before you say a word.
I have been asked how I keep a smile on my face while dealing with the struggle, and I say it is because I know my worth. I was specifically asked how I am so happy while my life is in transition. My answer in short has been that I have to remember who I am, remember that my sons need a WHOLE mother, and I must place value in myself.
People that walk around “Happy” all of the time are living in a false reality, because hardships are a part of living and we all go through the struggle from time to time. However, we have to not remain stagnant in that struggle. We must deal with REAL life and move forward, but most importantly LEARN.
Taken from my post on Facebook a short list was born…in order to live my life more abundantly and Not Dwell in the Past…Sometimes you just have to speak things into the atmosphere, enjoy life to the fullest, and create the life I want to life.
Step one of my process is gaining a new lease on life. I had to realize that losing people in my life was not always a bad thing. Some losses are out of my individual control. Death is inevitable…but a breakup be it a long term relationship or marriage is NOT the end of the world. It may feel like the end of the world when you lose someone you love, but there is a blessing in losing someone that didn’t value your presence in the first place. Eventually you get tired of feeling unappreciated and realize that you deserve better. You will cry, flip out, reflect, question, scream, not understand, and then realize that it is time to LET IT GO! You can try to hold on, but if the relationship was meant to last it would. Sometimes letting go is hard to do but in order to have peace of mind it is necessary. No one person is perfect in a relationship, but when you know that YOU have done all that you can, make peace with your circumstances and know that YOU DESERVE BETTER.
Step two is to challenge myself and step out of my comfort zone. I am VERY black and white when it comes to rules because I have too much to lose. That does not mean I am perfect, don’t get upset and am not confrontational. It just means it takes a lot to get me to that point. Everything does not need a reaction, but when I do REACT be ready because it’s not going to be how you would expect. I’m very comfortable in my skin, so now that I am deciding to sit in front of the camera I am setting myself up for criticism from others. I am already hard on myself when it comes to my writing, so in order to grow I have to throw myself out there even more. Whether it’s writing academic content, working on my upcoming projects, or making VLOGS in order to get better I must first not rely on being comfortable. So PUSH yourself to do things differently and enjoy learning more about who you are and what makes you tick.
Step three is having fun while I fumble through my new experiences. Whether it’s a dinner date, movies, throwing back a few cocktails, or getting some new ink (I LOVE TATTOOS), there is NOTHING to STOP me from having fun. After being thrown completely for a loop, and having my world shaken up I have rebounded and know that I will LIVE my LIFE ABUNDANTLY WELL. My sons are growing and maturing into awesome little men. They are well taken care of and are happy to see their mom living a little rather being bogged down by sleepless nights and endless tears. I am deserving of a stress free life… I am not afraid to give love another shot. I removed toxic people from my life and while others want to assume, they have no idea just how GOOD my life really truly is. I have spent so much time taking caring of others, it feels good to have a friend in my life that makes things a little easier for me. I am able to relax. So I say to my followers and encouragers, OPEN UP an LIVE A LITTLE! Try NEW things…Don’t be so Quick to say NO!
Make a list, check it twice. Life is better with lists! Come back for more in the list series.
I am in such a different space in my life from the restart of my blog (March 2016) as I pursue my writing and grabbing opportunities to express myself (Pursue Your Dream Career). I love lists….I write everything down and look back at the things I affirm in myself and feel a sense of pride when things come to fruition.
Right now there are so many thoughts in my head about what I’m trying to do and where I’m trying to go and I know that the next few years are going to push me closer to my purpose. In the meantime I’ll just focus right here at Tilyarealeyes.com and put things into the atmosphere and watch them come full circle.
So here’s to the 10 Things I’m Proud Of…
10. I began my college journey at the University of Florida the glorious summer of 2000. My #1 school of choice and I had a blast…my very first Blue & White weekend, being introduced to Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. by way of the fabulous Mu Epsilon Chapter…endless memories…oh what a time I had.
9. Due to the fun I had at UF, I subsequently enlisted into the United States Air Force and spent six wonderful years on active duty. I met some amazing people…but I also walked away with 2 associate degrees and my bachelors when I separated in 2007…Honorable Discharge…Veteran Status
8. I have given birth to the most amazing little boys on the side of heaven. I’m supposed to be proud as their mother…that damn Lil Phil (3.4.04) waited 20 hours to make his appearance into this world…after contracting, I stalled at 5 centimeters so a c-section it became and he’s still stubborn to this day.. #Big Then came the baby, my Preston (2.9.06) my little genius and scheduled c-section. He melts my heart…so innocent…so sweet…so caring… #Little
7. My trials and tribulations in life remind me that everyone struggles at times and it is a part of life but it’s ultimately about how you handle things. I have no choice but to be resilient…I have children to take care of. I am defined by my experiences and that is what completes me.
Taking a deeper look though, my first name has 7 letters in it…L.A.T.I.L.Y.A.
My journey makes me aware of who I am…7…the number of completion!
6. I have been in the traditional classroom for 9 years and I love it! It’s not easy each day or each year. In time middle school will be my foundation as I move up to the next level.
5. Five years ago…April 2012 I closed on my first home…ALL by MYSELF at the age of 30. God is so Good! These past 5 months have shook me up…my marriage ended…a financial setback…but I’m home! The devil got busy, but I’m grounded in what’s mine and I give it all to God.
4. I have survived what might drive others crazy. I am not ashamed of my second divorce, nope not one bit. Marriage 1 changed me, matured me, and birthed me my 2 delicious babies. Marriage 2 taught me what I deserve and I don’t deserve to be cheated on, lied to, disrespected, or unappreciated. It was not all bad but the truth of the matter it was a struggle. I have my dignity and I learned my lesson. I’m not sure if 3 times is the charm… Who Knows…But You Already Knew That…I Want The Magic.
3. Writing my book, My Fourth Year in Middle School will always be a proud moment. Personal, honest and something I always wanted to do. So stay tuned for my next body of work. Because I’m super critical of myself, when The Journey to Here is complete it will be because I’m ready for you to see it. Being a creative is not easy…I’m passionate about MY words and how I intricately weave them together.
2. My education! I’m modest about it, but having someone speak life in me and say, “You should introduce yourself as Dr. Williams”, it is a constant reminder of my accomplishments. Surround yourself with people that SPEAK LIFE into your existence, your being, your soul, your day…those are the kind of people to have on your team. Community College of the Air Force…Thomas Edison State College (now University)…Bellevue University…Nova Southeastern University…Since 2000 I pursued my education and ultimately became Dr. LaTilya Williams. No easy feat…but yes I did it.
1. My spirituality! I luh God! He is the author of my life. Without him I would not be able to stand strong. I am where I am in life because of him and I embrace all of my blessings. My life is changing for the Good…the Great…the Better.